Tuesday, August 25, 2015

The Writing Prompt Boot Camp: Day Four

In an effort to battle the evil tempter, Mara, the creator of procrastination, I've decided to take matters into my own hands. A quick Google search uncovered The Writing Prompt Boot Camp: Two Weeks of Craft, Creativity, and Discipline, a free PDF from Writer's Digest.

For the next few weeks, I'll be posting the work I do through out the boot camp.



Warning, today's story might be a bit offensive. If you don't have a stomach for dirty jokes or potty humor, you probably will never read my blog again. On the other hand, if you like a good dick joke and are just as perverted as my friends and I, than your gonna love this one!

Today, I'm going to change the format of these posts a little. I'll give you the prompt AFTER the story. The set up is kind of fun in this one and I think the prompt might give some stuff away too early.



Employee of the Month
by Cruz Andronico Fernandez

     Daniel worked in a nice office, with nice people, in a nice building. He was an upstanding citizen. Last month, he was Employee of the Month. He was even dating the boss’s daughter, with full approval from the boss. Daniel was on the fast track to the top. But Daniel was also a massive pervert.
    He loved porn of every kind; Old ladies, Young Ladies, Anal, Oral, gay, straight, human, animal, animated, and puppets. He couldn't help himself. It is safe to say he had an addiction. No one in the office knew that he would sneak away into the bathroom, an empty office, or the janitor's closet, to jack it to porn on his phone.
    Daniel loved the taboo. He got off on how wrong it was. The possibility of getting caught really got his blood pumping. Some days he would do this two or three times. Today, he is on a record four jerk off sessions in one day.
    When his co-worker, Jennifer, leans over his desk to show him the statistics on a report, he gets a quick glimpse of her nipple. Time for round five!
    Daniel finishes his short meeting with Jennifer and quickly looks for a new video to watch on his phone, before he heads off to the broom closet. Unfortunately, he's used up the battery on his phone in his last few pocket-pool sessions. His phone dead and his balls blue, Daniel makes the brilliant decision to print out some pictures from the internet. As Dan is searching for the best pudd whacking images, he recalls a series of photos he took of the boss’s daughter. As luck would have it, he saved them to the cloud. He pulls them up and glories at the pictures of his girlfriend in all manner of compromising positions. He even Photoshoped some of them so that it appeared she was entertaining a few farm animals.
    These would do nicely. Enter and Print.
    Daniel watches his printer with anticipatory sweat beading on his forehead.
    Nothing.
    He checks the status icon; everything seems ok.
    Still nothing.
    He checks the paper tray; it's full.
    Now nervous sweat is dripping down his back. He checks the print application on his computer. The program shows that the job has printed successfully. He looks back at his printer. Nothing. He looks back at the computer. He finds the problem. Daniel has sent the print job to another printer in the office.
    Daniel stands up from his cubical and scans the office nervously. He sits back down. What to do?
    Daniel in a pickle.
    He gets back up and quickly makes his way to the community printer, where he has accidentally sent the inappropriate photos.
    The pictures are not there.
    He looks around the office for signs of someone walking away with the photos. Everyone is in their cubical, dutifully doing their work. Daniel doesn't know what to do. All his fears and secret desires have come true. He is exposed. He's going to loose his job. He's going to loose his girlfriend. Daniel needs to jack it right away.
    He runs to the bathroom and squeezes out a furious load of shame. Out of breath and dripping sweat, Daniel contemplates what to do next. His mind runs through a series of wild scenarios. He could walk out and never return. He could claim someone played a sick joke on him. He could walk into the office with an automatic weapon and kill everyone in the place before the photos have a chance to circulate.
    Now his bowls begin to give way. He quickly sits down and shits. The smell of his own stink is too much for him. Daniel brakes down into tears. Semen on his hand, shit on his ass, and tears on his face, Daniel is not feeling like the employee of the month.
    With no other real choice, Daniel cleans himself up and prepares to face the music.
    As Daniel steps out of the bathroom, he's nearly run over by the tech cart. The tech cart is just that, a cart used by the IT guy to fix problems with the computers, the internet, the phones, and the printers. Dan follows it.
    The tech cart stops at the community printer. Daniel asks what the problem is. The tech guy tells him that the network is acting up and all the jobs that go to that printer are lost, even if they register as printed  succesfully. He assures Dan that the problem will be corrected soon and that Dan should just use the printer at his desk.
     The tech guy is puzzled and a little weirded out when Daniel hugs him. The tech guy notices that Dan is very sweaty, appears to have been crying, and smells a little like shit.



See, I told you this was kind of fucked up!
Day 4
Sent to the Wrong Printer
You’re at work and you print something personal (and sensitive). Unfortunately, you’ve sent it to the wrong printer and, by the time you realize it, somebody else has already scooped it up.