Friday, March 20, 2009

I pissed on my friends girlfriend

Ok, so I've been neglecting my blogs. Bad business. But I have had good reason. I'm a natural born jack ass. To prove the point let me tell you a little story.

Now understand I am telling you this story at great risk to my personal reputation and my dignity. Ok, I don't really have any dignity, but I would hope that this story would be looked at as a lesson in not over drinking.

I have been absent from my blogs for the most part since the Saturday before St. Patty's Day. That night I got together with some friends and was planing to attend a St. Patty's Day party at the local pub. The night started out pretty good. We had a few beers at my buds apartment before heading out to the pub. We get there and there's no one there. The party wasn't going to start until 9:00 that night. It was 6pm.

So we decide to go get a few more beers from the store (much cheaper that way) and go back to the apartment and watch Still Waiting. We get our beers and back to the apartment and that's about where my memory fails me. Only brief flashes remain.

Apparently at some point one of my friends (the one that made the mistake of buying the bottle of Brandy, there's a reason I only drink beer now days) and I decide to go outside to have a smoke (I know another bad habit, I'm full of 'em). I guess I insisted that we go to the bar and see if things were popn'. I guess it was. I know I only had enough money for a few beers, but I later found out that we stayed at the bar until sometime after 1 in the morning. I remember brief flashes of being at the bar. My buddy tried to get me to sing When Doves Cry on karaoke. I remember telling the DJ that there was no way in hell I was going to sing that and asked to sing something else but I don't remember what.

Other then brief flashes that's about the most of what I remember. Apparently we stumbled back to the apartment and banged on the door until they let us in. I guess early the next morning when my buddy, the one who lived in the apartment, got up for work he heard me get up. Then he heard the sound of liquid trickling on his bed. I was pissing on his bed! I think it was on the side that his girlfriend was sleeping on! He jumped up and pushed me and I just began to talk unintelligibly. I went into his bath room a pissed all over that too. They made my drunk ass clean all that shit up and kicked me out of their apartment.

I woke up the next morning in my own bed knowing I had seriously fucked up. When my mom (yes, I'm living with my folks again, that's another long story) asked me who's blankets were in the washer I remembered a just enough to know I had pissed all over my buddies apartment.

So now that you know one of my deep dark secrets you should be able to live with out a post from me from time to time. After that night I have decided to cut down on my drinking. I'll have a few beers when I'm watching Battlestar Galactica or my other shows but no more binge drinking. I don't do it often anymore any ways but I don't like the shame and guilt from getting drunk. Because when I get drunk, I get drunk! Just remember if you drink, drink responsibly... and don't piss on your friends girlfriend.