Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Pressure! Under Pressure!

Gotta get this wedding done! Gotta get this pilot done! Gotta get this contract signed! Gotta get Harmony’s homework done! Gotta get this film into production again! Gotta write this second draft! Gotta pay this bill! Gotta pay that bill! Gotta Gotta Gotta do more and more and more!!!

Never-fucking-ending!

I got a lot of shit I need to get done and it seems like the will to do it all is just getting farther and farther away! I’m not sure what it is that makes me so god damned lazy but fuck me if it isn’t just better to hit the couch and read. Don’t get me wrong, I know the problems this creates. I know I have to be responsible and get my work done. I can see all the details and consequences of my actions. But why in the hell is it so easy to throw all that knowledge out the window and dig my self deeper?

Another problem is the sudden realization that maybe I’m not being completely lazy. One thing that kills me is when I’m doing the work I’m supposed to be doing. I’m working my ass off and when I come up for air I realize that I’m still behind!

I have two weddings on my plate because I was lazy weeks before. MY fault. I re-double my effort. I get my ass out of bed and start working. But I loose an hour here because of this reason. And then I loose an hour there because of that reason. I’m working. I’m thinking. My mind jumps from one thought process for one project to another. I’m doing good but why am I still behind?

Now I gotta go coach t-ball. The couch just seems so comforting. Contemplating quitting it all and writing full time.